Lost and Found
im turning into an obsessive blog addict, i noe. this is the second time im writing in a day. Really, any time the body's not moving is when the mind races. And so as much as i hate to subject myself to the drudgery of work, i would scarcely dare allow meself to steal a spare moment to think...all that thinkin...some day it's either gonna turn me into a sage or a psycho...(seriously i'll prefer the latter)
i need to get this one out of me. all that emotion is too swelling for a mortal body to contain within itself. i can feel it, like a self inflating baloon...i needed to stop the mp3 from playing before i can go on, its playing girl from ipanema and hello...wrong song! this is serious, i gotta rethink the exact pain before i can describe it on paper.
we all know de ja vu (someone told me dats french, well whatever!)... but what i felt wasn't some silly old flashback. the familarity of place and scenario in all that entirety, so real it even smells the same as, reminded me of something that happened before.... And now, the knowing of how much has changed from that once-upon-a-time, and how much i had change, just tugged at my heart...and it was painful, not excrutiating pain kinda pain. it's just kind of mildly poignant...and yes it made me sad. im sad because i felt loss...like a big hole get it. i was such a big asshole.
you noe sometimes life plays tricks on people, the sadness, disappointments, the low points in life...they move forward with you like tinkerhooks(is there such a thing), like scenary on a upright treadmill, u noe those things they use in shows so that the scenary just kinda repeats and repeats itself...sigh...plaged by sadness huh...
you know there's this chinese saying i remember that summarises everything i just said in like 2 lines...its goes like xi ri smthg smthg....anyway, if u happen to know it please enlighten me. it means smthg like "the place is de same but pple are different"...
hate to leave this page, this has been the most honest piece of public writing i've done actually. but den u dun noe how much lighter i feel now, after purging all dat crap. thanks fer reading.
i need to get this one out of me. all that emotion is too swelling for a mortal body to contain within itself. i can feel it, like a self inflating baloon...i needed to stop the mp3 from playing before i can go on, its playing girl from ipanema and hello...wrong song! this is serious, i gotta rethink the exact pain before i can describe it on paper.
we all know de ja vu (someone told me dats french, well whatever!)... but what i felt wasn't some silly old flashback. the familarity of place and scenario in all that entirety, so real it even smells the same as, reminded me of something that happened before.... And now, the knowing of how much has changed from that once-upon-a-time, and how much i had change, just tugged at my heart...and it was painful, not excrutiating pain kinda pain. it's just kind of mildly poignant...and yes it made me sad. im sad because i felt loss...like a big hole get it. i was such a big asshole.
you noe sometimes life plays tricks on people, the sadness, disappointments, the low points in life...they move forward with you like tinkerhooks(is there such a thing), like scenary on a upright treadmill, u noe those things they use in shows so that the scenary just kinda repeats and repeats itself...sigh...plaged by sadness huh...
you know there's this chinese saying i remember that summarises everything i just said in like 2 lines...its goes like xi ri smthg smthg....anyway, if u happen to know it please enlighten me. it means smthg like "the place is de same but pple are different"...
hate to leave this page, this has been the most honest piece of public writing i've done actually. but den u dun noe how much lighter i feel now, after purging all dat crap. thanks fer reading.
posted by PY @ 9:56 PM
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